Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Miss Me but let me Go
True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you. ~ Unknown
Scripture:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (New International Version)
Forty-three years ago when I was eight years old, my mother had another daughter; my baby sister, Deborah. I remember the day my mother brought her home from the hospital and placed her in the crib that had been set up in my bedroom. My mother told me, that she was my baby to watch over. This was a charge I took very seriously.
Deborah was a constant shadow to me growing up, but I didn’t mind too much. She was one of those little kids everyone loved. She was a joy to be around even when she was forever tattling on me when I did wrong. Even my boyfriends enjoyed having her around. One young man that I dated even broke the rules and let her play on his all boys basketball team because she could actually outplay most of the boys on the team.
When she got to high school, she ran track and often got up before school to go run a few miles before her classes. Even though she only stood five feet tall and weighed just over a hundred pounds, she was a stand-out player and even played ball in college. But something happened while she was away that forever changed her life and mines. She got hooked on drugs.
See, my mother had died and she and my mother had been feuding. My mother died suddenly and the age of forty-three and my baby sister never really got over it. Crack cocaine was prevalent at the time and my sister like so many unsuspecting people, got hooked her first time out. For the next 20 years, her life continued to spiral out of control and she was consumed in a world of drugs and alcohol.
The day we her family dreaded most, finally happened last year, September 19th to be exact; she suddenly disappeared. We all fear the worst has happened and each of us, her siblings, carry a certain amount of grief and guilt around with us each and every day because we feel that somehow, we should have done more to save her from herself. She lost control of her life and I know I for one have always felt that I could have done more to help her get it back.
Today, detectives called a meeting with us, her siblings and as we sat together expecting the worst and wishing for the end to a bad nightmare and closure, we also hoped for peace. Not for ourselves but for our sister.
I have often wondered what her life must have been like caught up in the “life.” She has had so many bad things happen to her over the course of her short lifetime that secretly, I prayed that maybe she was finally at peace. That maybe her nightmare that we only saw from the outside had finally ended for her. Unfortunately, we were left in limbo once again and the results of a DNA test given to possibly identify a murder victim matching her description were inconclusive. Disappointment hung in the air like an angry shroud.
I reached out to friends to share this latest update and I received this from a very loving and caring friend:
When I come to the end of the day
And the sun has set for me,I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too longAnd not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love we once shared,
Miss me but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.It's all a part of the maker's plan,
A step on the road to home.When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds -Miss me, but let me go.
As I sit here with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart and write this message for me, I want to remind you, that sometimes we cannot save those we love the most. In both life and death the only way we can heal our broken hearts and spirits is to let them go. Love them for who they are but release them to the one who is the only true healer, God.
Be Blessed
Prayer:
Jesus Wept. Amen.
Scripture:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (New International Version)
Forty-three years ago when I was eight years old, my mother had another daughter; my baby sister, Deborah. I remember the day my mother brought her home from the hospital and placed her in the crib that had been set up in my bedroom. My mother told me, that she was my baby to watch over. This was a charge I took very seriously.
Deborah was a constant shadow to me growing up, but I didn’t mind too much. She was one of those little kids everyone loved. She was a joy to be around even when she was forever tattling on me when I did wrong. Even my boyfriends enjoyed having her around. One young man that I dated even broke the rules and let her play on his all boys basketball team because she could actually outplay most of the boys on the team.
When she got to high school, she ran track and often got up before school to go run a few miles before her classes. Even though she only stood five feet tall and weighed just over a hundred pounds, she was a stand-out player and even played ball in college. But something happened while she was away that forever changed her life and mines. She got hooked on drugs.
See, my mother had died and she and my mother had been feuding. My mother died suddenly and the age of forty-three and my baby sister never really got over it. Crack cocaine was prevalent at the time and my sister like so many unsuspecting people, got hooked her first time out. For the next 20 years, her life continued to spiral out of control and she was consumed in a world of drugs and alcohol.
The day we her family dreaded most, finally happened last year, September 19th to be exact; she suddenly disappeared. We all fear the worst has happened and each of us, her siblings, carry a certain amount of grief and guilt around with us each and every day because we feel that somehow, we should have done more to save her from herself. She lost control of her life and I know I for one have always felt that I could have done more to help her get it back.
Today, detectives called a meeting with us, her siblings and as we sat together expecting the worst and wishing for the end to a bad nightmare and closure, we also hoped for peace. Not for ourselves but for our sister.
I have often wondered what her life must have been like caught up in the “life.” She has had so many bad things happen to her over the course of her short lifetime that secretly, I prayed that maybe she was finally at peace. That maybe her nightmare that we only saw from the outside had finally ended for her. Unfortunately, we were left in limbo once again and the results of a DNA test given to possibly identify a murder victim matching her description were inconclusive. Disappointment hung in the air like an angry shroud.
I reached out to friends to share this latest update and I received this from a very loving and caring friend:
When I come to the end of the day
And the sun has set for me,I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too longAnd not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love we once shared,
Miss me but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.It's all a part of the maker's plan,
A step on the road to home.When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds -Miss me, but let me go.
As I sit here with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart and write this message for me, I want to remind you, that sometimes we cannot save those we love the most. In both life and death the only way we can heal our broken hearts and spirits is to let them go. Love them for who they are but release them to the one who is the only true healer, God.
Be Blessed
Prayer:
Jesus Wept. Amen.
